Dear Blue,
Your mommy is a giant ball of stress. I have always been this way. I can remember being stressed as a little kid. I would stress about my bedroom being messy. I worried myself sick that I would never get pregnant with you and guess what??? I did! Which by the way was the happiest day of my life. Some days I feel that I may have put too much stress on you and that is why you didn't make it. My doctors told me there wasn't anything I could have done differently, it was just something that happens sometimes. But that doesn't change the guilt and the fear that I have that I had something to do with it. Maybe I stressed so much that you couldn't grow. I will never know what caused the loss of you, but I am sorry if I caused it. i would go back in time and never worry about another thing if it meant that I'd be able to have you.
I am sending lots of kisses to Heaven and they are all for you.
Mommy
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