Blue,
Tonight I went to my yoga class and dedicated my meditation to you. It was a peaceful meditation where I was able to rid myself of a lot of guilt that I have been feeling.
G-U-I-L-T is something that consumes a person, especially a mother who tries to think of everything she did wrong to cause the miscarriage. Was I not healthy enough, did I not want my child enough, was I being punished for past imperfections, and/or was I just not deserving of such a gift? Things like these and many others went through my head over and over again.
But tonight, with the help of yoga; I was able to release a lot of the guilt. I think I was able to tell myself that this was not a choice I made, nor was it a choice made by my actions. I didn't want to lose you.
Sweet dreams little one. I love you.
Mommy
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