August 2010

Hi Blue,
I can't believe that I would have been expecting your arrival any day now. I think about that all the time. I wonder who you would have looked like. Would you look like me or daddy? I wonder what your cry would have sounded like, would it be soft or loud? Oh how I miss you. It seems like it was forever ago that we found out that you were real, you were this perfect little being that was made out of soooo much love. Your daddy and I met nearly 6 years ago. I told everyone I knew that I was just not interested in him after we met for the first time. But I really was interested. I found your daddy to be an absolute sweetie. He was kind and sincere. As we sat talking for the first time over coffee I knew that he would be the one that I would be with for the rest of my life. Now of course, I didn't want to believe that nor did I want any one else to know that this had even crossed though my mind. I tired to fight the feelings off, I even cancelled several dates with your daddy. But I kept going back to the thought of our first date and how much I enjoyed his company. With in three months of meeting, I decided that I needed to follow my heart and call him. And from there on out, it was history. I didn't even tell your grandma and grandpa about him until months later. I was so afraid to follow my heart. My heart had been broken a few times before and I felt that it would happen again.
The moral of this story is to follow your heart. Don't be afraid. Sometimes it is easier to let fears and past experiences lead the way, but if you follow your heart, you may find what you have been looking for all along.

Love you so much,
Mommy