Pumpkin for you!

Dear Blue,
Tomorrow is a big day for me. Your grandma wants to see where you are at rest. So I am going to take her to see you. But the most exciting part is that I am going to go and buy you a pumpkin for your first Halloween! I can't believe it is almost October! I miss you so much. So much that it hurts. I physically hurt Blue. Some nights I can't sleep and other times I sleep too much. I keep wondering when the hurt is going to stop, but I don't think it will ever will. I know I will never stop thinking of you, but at some point in time, I have to accept that you are gone. I have to accept that you are in heaven and the angels are taking great care of you. I have to remind myself daily that this was in God's plan, even though it angers me more than anything. I don't want to ever forget the memories of the months we shared, but I need to let go of the anger. Anger is only hurting me and not allowing me to make any steps forward. I hope that I can do this, for you, for daddy, and for myself. Anger won't bring you back. I love you Blue, I love you forever and ever.

I hope you like the pumpkin I picked for you my little 'punkin'!!!
Mommy