Good afternoon Blue,
Oh how I miss you and Sweet Pea. There have been so many dark clouds looming over your daddy and I since the loss of you. It seems like our souls have been ripped out of our bodies and it keeps getting worse and worse. Just when we thought we cold cry no longer, hurt no more, we lost Sweet Pea. But I know that the sun is always there. It may be hiding right now, but it will shine through some day.
This journey we are on is one that is teaching us so much about life. I can't speak for daddy, but I can tell you my personal experience with all of this. Many, many years ago, I spent most of my day worrying about what others thought about me. I worried about people not liking me. Even up until we lost you, I was always CONSTANTLY worried about something that I look back now and realize that what I worried about was so trivial. Who cares if I gain five pounds? Who cares if I over sleep and have to wear my hair in a pony tail? Who cares if someone doesn't like what I have to say? Who cares if I choose not to do what everyone else thinks I should do? I am me and I have had experiences that have changed my life forever, that being you and Sweet Pea. Becoming a mother and then having my babies taken away made me realize the bigger picture. Blue, you gave me so many wonderful gifts. You gave me the gift of being a mother, the gift of love, the gift of peace, and the gift of learning what is most important in life. I am even a little embarrassed to say that out loud, because I would like to think that I already knew what should be important in life...I guess I always knew, I just didn't appreciate it as much. My family is my world!
I love you and Sweet Pea around the "world" and back a "zillion" times over!!!!
Mommy
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